"I now pronounce you man and ... ?"

Or, as two women at a wedding in The Birdcage ask each other, "Which one's the mother?", "I don't know!"

The term 'gay marriage' seems rather an anachronism - particularly as in many of these couples there is usually the one who is the more fastidious and takes on the attributes of a female and the other the more aggressive male-asserted partner. There is also the simple matter of biological reproduction, which is only possible through adoption or the further dabbling into science.

The legality for this kind of union already exists in the form of civil partnerships: to extend it further to actual legal marriage is less a campaign for gay rights than another attempt by the opportunistic David Cameron to make his mark over his predecessors.